(Source: youjustinspiredme)

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lickystickypickywe:

The truth….

tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think your clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole

blameaspartame:

riding away from the haters on my dog chariot

(Source: bigblacks)

(Source: nussebro)

jennamarbles:

Remember the time I got drunk and broke my hand? Oh yeah that was last night. (Taken with instagram)

(Source: did-yuo-kno)

awww!

(Source: shelbylovespuppies)

(Source: meme4u)

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doctor-snazzypants:

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

tranniesandgrannies:

If you don’t press play. You will regret it for the rest of your life.

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

DYING

BAHAHA

(Source: ije0ma)

thedailynipple:

whats the difference between peanut butter and jam?

i cant peanut butter my dick up your ass

(Source: faggotwhispererr)